"Past Predator, Present Alien, Future Terminator."

"It Came From the Future To Hunt Humans."

In 1994 Daniel filmed his first movie, the sci fi action spectacle 'Future War'... and unfortunately it wasn't exactly the hottest movie to have as one's debut into the motion picture business... but we all gotta start somewhere right? It must first be noted, unavoidably, that this movie was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000 - the infamous b-movie comedy show... an honor that certainly never benefits any director or actor. However, I am one the few out there who has never seen the MST3K edition of this movie... so could it be? An unbiased review for Future War? Well I believe so!

Future War tells the tale of thumb-less(!) cyborgs who come from the future and enslave extraterrestrial human-beings to build their cities, whilst keeping their slaves under guard with dinosaurs they've kidnapped from Earth's past. One man (Daniel) escapes from his captors and crash lands in his escape-pod in modern-day America... all the while chased by two cyborgs and their tracker dinosaurs... or 'trackosaurs' as I affectionately refer to them, and will endeavor to do so from this point on.

Daniel's character, only referred to as 'the runaway' finds refuge with a former drug-dealing prostitute-turned nun, and her flannel-clad Christian fundamentalist ghetto street gang... just reflect on that for a second... who assist the runaway in an all-guns-blazing & martial arts battle with dinosaurs and the evil cyborgs! The movie should be congratulated for its bizarre plot, though I can't even begin to imagine how many drugs must have been taken in order to create this curious set of ideas.

By this point you're probably saying - "Dude, this movie has trackosaurs? Cyborgs? Martial arts? How can this movie suck? Those things are cool!" Well, yeah, those things are cool... if handled by a talented crew with more than pocket-change at their disposal.

This movie was made on a really, REALLY low budget. We're talking about the kind of low-budget where an in-film news-crew's camera is constructed out of a cereal box and duct tape. Don't get me wrong, the movie is actually quite entertaining... albeit for completely the wrong reasons.

Each set is often more embarrassing than the last, often resembling a student film's set-dressing. The vast majority of action takes place in warehouses filled with empty cardboard boxes - just piles and piles and piles and piles of them, everywhere. When hit, they flutter and ricochet with the light-weight bounce that only empty cardboard can. All the while the sound effects department endearingly overdubs the sound of smashes & crashes as these thoroughly unconvincing boxes knock our action-stars off their feet as they continue to beat the hell out of each other with them.

And when I say there are loads of these boxes - we're talking THOUSANDS of them; the credits accordingly even list two people as 'box wranglers' (just two?), who I hope were paid accordingly for their labors... after all, they built three-quarters of the entire film. In one scene we're led to believe that a Trackosaurus Rex (I hereby copyright that name!) is able to hide within one of the movie's multiple empty-box warehouses, between its tiny cluttered pathways, without knocking a single box off their precarious piles and then effortlessly surprise an entire police squad. Right.

Other notable budget restrictions include the ultra cheap cyborgs (men with moustaches in plastic headgear and foundation makeup); the fact that the camera's contrast level isn't even adjusted for outdoor lighting conditions in the opening beach scene; the super-imposed dinosaur puppets; the basement scene that involves not only the cast walking around the same corner around 3 times (identifiable by a black stain on the rear wall) but also a thrilling pit literally painted onto the basement floor. Cool.

To ensure the movie goes out with a low-budget bang, the film's climax takes place in the local church to ensure that the story's epic battle between good & evil and the entire sub-plot of discovering one's own inner-spirituality is fully realized in an iconic and visually-representative location of powerful & meaningful subtext... well, not quite. Whilst it's a 200ft stock-footage spire on the outside, it looks like nothing more than the stage for a high-school play on the inside. The pews are placed within 3 inches of each other and made of the thinnest, cheapest balsa-wood possible for modern science to engineer (for incredibly exciting stunt purposes!), whilst the walls are quite clearly flimsy set-partitions... and the window's made of sugar-paper. Needless to say, it hardly makes for a thrilling or convincing climax. 

The movie's only highlight, if you can look past the hideous production values, is Daniel's martial arts ability. Obviously these days it goes without saying that his skills are absolutely phenomenal - but put into historical context, this was his first real piece of exposure. Also acting as the fight choreographer for the film, Daniel ensures that his own moves are well-orchestrated. He also pulls off some kick-ass flips & kicks - but that alone does not make a great movie; especially since his co-stars are so wooden and fight back with all the prowess of a mannequin from a department store. But it's still great to see Daniel perform some stunning kicks and aerial moves that really are this film's only merits as a piece of respectable entertainment.

It basically boils down to this, if you're a fan of B-movies... then this is gonna be a dream come true! So base your judgment on whether you can appreciate trash - if you like it cheap & nasty, then the whole film will undoubtedly be a roller coaster of sordid entertainment for you that you'll be reminiscing over for years to come; irritating your friends and family alike with your incessant quotes from the film's stunning script! If however you're looking for a movie that'll grip and encapsulate you in its mystical cinematic universe that will leave you breathless till the credits roll as it thrills you with its complex plot and stunning effects... then you probably should have given up back at the tagline!

So by this point you can clearly see the oversized scores at the bottom of the screen and the left score sums up the movie's power as a serious work of cinematic art. As a comedy however, its stupidity borders on genius, which is the reason for the second score on the right... so use your own judgment on that call.

One last thing... don't miss the train ride to absolutely nowhere! I simply trust the director's vision was fully-realized in the filming of that scene.